Cylinder test by post.

[soreinsky]

Dear all
I live in the Scottish highlands where there are no dive shops or test centers therefore can anyone tell me where I can send my cylinder off to for testing.

Thank you in anticipation of your reply,

Soreinsky.

[Phil Laughton]

Dear all
I live in the Scottish highlands where there are no dive shops or test centres therefore can anyone tell me where I can send my cylinder off to for testing.

Thank you in anticipation of your reply,

Soreinsky.
Hi,
Just where abouts do you live?
There are test centres in Scotland but I may be able to point you to the nearest to where you are.

Phil

[Hickdive]

I guess you're in Skye?

Anyway, I think virtually every test centre would accept a cylinder by post, its just a matter of customer service, and paying the costs involved. The best thing to do would be to phone them up and ask.

The one place that would almost certainly provide this service, since they're not a dive centre but a commercial cylinder tester specialising in BA systems, is Patersons Air Safety in Twechar.

[soreinsky]

Hi and thanks for your answers. By the way I live 16 miles from John O Groats. I emailed divelife and they are so good they are going to pick the cylinders up next week as the technician is going to Scapa. Is that customer service or what.

Thanks again for taking the time to help me out.

[Chris_M]

Hi and thanks for your answers. By the way I live 16 miles from John O Groats. I emailed divelife and they are so good they are going to pick the cylinders up next week as the technician is going to Scapa. Is that customer service or what.

Thanks again for taking the time to help me out.

Your nearest would have been Scapa Scuba in Stromness. Im guessing if you asked northlink you could have put it on the Hamnavoe at Scrabster and then they could have picked it up off the ferry in Stromness. Or for you eaiser would have been the Pentalina B.

Just for future refrence if you need regs serviced or anything.

[Steve in Sharm]

Given the rise in internet dive shops cant you get a USB download that would do the test for you, and then refill the cylinder with air so that you could then go diving straight away?

[Ed Howarth]

I think the download has been approved for the visual test but not for the hydrostatic.

[Gary(A)]

Given the rise in internet dive shops cant you get a USB download that would do the test for you, and then refill the cylinder with air so that you could then go diving straight away?

Has the USB method of cylinder testing been accepted by NDC? Could be an insurance issue otherwis :D

[MattS]

Has the USB method of cylinder testing been accepted by NDC? Could be an insurance issue otherwis :DObviously a USB fill is technologically impossible and just ludicrous nonsens! Clearly Winzip is incapable of compressing FAT32 more than 75%, 32 x 1.75 producing far fewer Bytes than are needed to support breathing at depth for more than a few seconds.

If you look carefully at the specifications of modern Gigabit Ethernet switches though, you will see that Back-Pressure has been a form of network flow control for many years. With the right compressor algorithm technology this pressure can potentially be used for pressurising cylinders, obviously. Thus, in the out-of-the box style that has established The BSAC at the forefront of diving technology, BSAC Council recognised the potential of incorporating such technology in the bsac.com web site, in order that sufficient revenue could be generated to break the financial dependancy on keeping those pesky members contented. Hence, the BSAC Advanced National Technology Internet Networking group (BANTIN) was tasked with formulating a method for the online filling and testing of diving cylinders several years ago.

Utilising the latest 'top down' analysis methodologies, the BANTIN team commissioned a top secret 'viral' research campaign, to identify the need existed within the market place. Forums and social networks were seeded with tales of virtual fills and the responses collated. Negative impact investigations, masquerading as demographic surveys from made up universities, were incorporated. I am sure readers will have come across the remnants of the various studies and may even have taken part. The interpolated summary of this research will be made available to BSAC members in due course, once BANTIN have found the fag packet the results are written on. Council were assured the outcome was very positive before further funds were committed.

Leading on from the success of the market research, BANTIN organised a series of meetings with representatives of SITA, IDEST and the HSE to ratify the regulatory framework for delivery. Sadly minutes from these meetings apparently are not in evidence, having been chewed by the chairman's dog prior to being left on the top deck of the bus. Without such evidence, the proceedings and indeed the question of the meetings ever having taken place is entirely here-say. Allegedly though...

After a very positive opening, where it was agreed by all parties that the Fox's Special Selection was far superior to the traditional Family Circle, the negotiations quickly ran into trouble. Much discussion ensued over exactly what fitting would be used to attach the cylinder, whether different fittings would be needed for the different broad band 'pipes' etc. Suitable cleaning of cylinders was also a major sticking point, some delegates insisting that virtual disinfection before each fill would be necessary to eliminate trace contamination by internet worms. These issues, requiring many meetings to resolve as they did, shrank into triviality in comparison with the ever more complicated issue of who exactly was paying for the biscuits next month.

The whole process was rocked to the core when SITA stormed out, stating the 'Happy Shopper Ginger Nuts' proposed by IDEST were wholly inadequate. The BANTIN group deserve to be commended for the 'Can Do' attitude displayed by the team during the fracas, resolving the impasse by escalating to wholesale adoption of the Fox's Extra Special Classic Assortment.

After many months, many meetings and many biscuits, the delegates had reached an agreeable compromise. Cleaning would be monthly and testing 6 monthly. Only 37 new content stickers were needed and only 5 new types of pillar valve. The stakeholders very generously agreeing to a license fee of no more than £1.00 per mega-byte of air. A few more meetings were needed to decide the colour of the stickers and then the project would be ready for the fanfare of a public announcement.

The last meeting, to decide the final colour for the final sticker, coincided with the employment of a new Beverage Procurement Logistics Manager at HQ, whom, it turns out, was some sort of savant computer genius. This dear lady, while simultaneously fulfilling a tricky request for Earl Grey with 1/2 a Sweetex, had the confidence to voice her concern with an issue that was several steps away from being identified by the BANTIN top down analysis methodology. Although the principal was voiced naively by the tea lady[1], it was none the less insightful. The details, concerning the interaction of electrons with Oxygen molecules at the sub-atomic level, are far, far too complicated for BSAC members to understand. Further investigation of the issue by the BANTIN team also identified that much of the internet is connected together with 'Oxygen Free' copper, making the delivery of Nitrox to all corners of the internet impossible at this time.

In view of the NDO being committed to promulgating a single, ubiquitous, online cylinder filling experience, The BSAC have concluded that the project should be shelved for the foreseeable future. Although all concerned are thoroughly disappointed, The BSAC Council would like to reassure the BSAC membership that the effort and not insubstantial cost to date, will not be in vain and should regarded as a prudent investment of funds.

Although I fully understand that less technologically gifted readers may think this is pure science fiction, remember you read it here on the internet, it's not even Friday, so it must be true.

The BSAC is, it seems, way ahead of it's time once more, standing poised to capitalise the moment that the Internet inevitably catches up. Our current best estimate being sometime around 2300AD.

I can confirm that BSAC 3rd party insurance will not cover incidents involving virtual fills at this time. Any BSAC members who may have questions concerning the validity of insurance as it pertains to virtual fills are advised that they should turn up unannounced to the the Q&A session which will not be held at HQ on 01/04/2012.

[1]"Ya bloody idiots, that ayn't never gonna work!"

:D

[westcoast]

Far to much spare time with that amount of time you should be diving!!!:D

[Gary(A)]

Obviously a USB fill is technologically impossible and just ludicrous nonsens! Clearly Winzip is incapable of compressing FAT32 more than 75%, 32 x 1.75 producing far fewer Bytes than are needed to support breathing at depth for more than a few seconds.

BIG SNIP
[1]"Ya bloody idiots, that ayn't never gonna work!"

:D

The question was for cylinder TEST, not fills.

[robinaj]

Hi
If you're still looking for cylinder testing in Scotland, Malcolm Goodchild operates out of Tarbert on the Kyntyre penninsular (on the way to Campeltown). He gives a really good service. Check him out.
Regards
Adrian


Malcolm Goodchild,
http://www.fyne-diving.co.uk/pages/contact.html
Loch Fyne Dive Charters,
Mobile: (07812) 572681,
e-mail: enquiries@fyne-diving.co.uk